"️Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling- frightened you'll slip away.️"

Not my words.  Read on Instagram last night and thought of sharing here. These lines more or less relates to my current situation and hence...

I am struggling between how much to hide and how much to display my thoughts to people  I really like. The fear of losing them shuns me a great deal in revealing my "self" to the fullest.

Hello again....

I haven't stopped writing. My thoughts get their form of expression in my exam papers. :P
It's just that I cannot really bring up myself to stick my butt to a chair for long hours and keep typing. I really find it difficult to use my Computer for long. 1 hour max/per day. Difficult to buy? True it is!  Also, I am preoccupied with certain things... 

This e-diary is close to my heart and I visit it quite often to take a trip down the memory lane and come close to myself. I still have no clue how I took up to writing and when it happened. People who read my stuff love it and I am frequently asked to elaborate on the part they find most intriguing. So most of my things are expressed verbally these days.

We deny our own beauty because others can’t or won’t recognise it. Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us.
We try to be what other people think of as ‘pretty’ and, little by little, our soul fades, our will weakens, and all the potential we had to make the world a more beautiful place withers away.
We forget that the world is what we imagine it to be.
We stop being the moonlight and become, instead, the pool of water reflecting it. Tomorrow, the water will evaporate in the sun. And all because, one day, someone said: ‘You are ugly.’ Or: ‘She is pretty.’ With those three simple words, they stole away all our self-confidence. 
And we become ugly and embittered.

Alright, i guess this can be a continuation of the last post... Stereotype: a detrimental prejudice.

So here i go........
Some people, after reading it, thought that i'm discriminating between girls and boys...no, i didn't do anything like that. The questions i'd put forth were quite instant and sprung up because of the question someone had asked me. I do feel that i'm becoming a FEMINIST, but yeah, in that post i didn't act as an ethnocentric. I talked about equal rights and that i don't understand whats wrong with people if they come across girls who drink or smoke????????????????

Stereotype- a detrimental prejudice

Stereotypes!!
It's a funny word, but i think its time to take it more seriously.
Stereotypes are gossips about the world which force us to prejudge people even before laying an eye on them. Its a kinda PREJUDGMENT!
Well, i don't intend to hurt anyone with the content of this post, but felt the need to erase of some misconceptions...

So, a day before yesterday someone asked me what good qualities i've, just because i don't visit temples and consume alcohol once in a blue moon. More than a surprise, it came as a shock to me, because the person who asked this to me was none other than a very good friend of mine who knows every thing about me or maybe, i thought he knew me, but it was never so...
The questions which suddenly crawled my mind were, a girl consuming alcohol or the one who smokes once in a while, but is true to herself and her friends considered unrespectable in society? If a girl doesn't go to temples, but silently prays for the well-being of her loved ones considered ungraceful? And if she live her life on her own accords, but is conscious about humanity and loves and respects poor then is she discourteous? On the contrary, if a girl does not consume alcohol, but cons thousands of men and is dishonest with her friends, then is she good?  And a girl who is least bothered about the people around her, the poverty, the starvation and uses others for her own selfish needs then is she super good, is she the best? Okay, i know people have their own choices and opinions. It's their decision on whom to stay with and whom not to stay with. My bestie faced similar situation once, but in her case the guy hardly knew her and in my case the person knew me very well. I don't understand whats the use considering him as BESTEST of my friends if he least knew me, in fact all these days he must have heard me and not listened to me or my words with utmost attention they required. I do respect him for his presence in the toughtest hour of mine and i also adore him much. But the same person raising such a question was not admirable.
I like him dearly and wish for his well-being, and i also hope that he understands that beauty lies within.. However the person be on outside, his/her intentions towards others shouldn't be demonic and the person should be considerate enough about others living in the society. His/her heart should be pure and mind and thoughts should be crystal clear.

Consuming alcohol and smoking are not bad things unless they're done in excess and people who have it occasionally aren't bad too. Girls should be given equal rights to live and cherish their lives. At the end of the day, no person is bad, he/she are just victims of circumstances. And i BEG you all not to PREJUDGE people on what they wear, what they eat etc. STOP fooling yourselves and acting like STEREOTYPES. YOU live in 21st century and behave accordingly!

Well, having stayed away from my one and the only blog, i feel a strong urge to start writing once again.
Things are kinda okay now...
I'm not a KJSIEITian any more, but a Xavierite. :D :D

A fish in an Aquarium

Lately, this is how I've been feeling...Like a fish in an aquarium.
I never wanted it to be like this. I wanted freedom, liberty...
A fish in an aquarium does get water, but still it has no freedom. It is caged, alone with some other species, roaming in a restricted area.
How dull and boring it is!
I'm pissed, screwed up, dull, exhausted and tired dealing with so many problem that come altogether.
At 20 i feel so much burdened.
bad... too bad!!