We deny our own beauty because others can’t or won’t recognise it. Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us.
We try to be what other people think of as ‘pretty’ and, little by little, our soul fades, our will weakens, and all the potential we had to make the world a more beautiful place withers away.
We forget that the world is what we imagine it to be.
We stop being the moonlight and become, instead, the pool of water reflecting it. Tomorrow, the water will evaporate in the sun. And all because, one day, someone said: ‘You are ugly.’ Or: ‘She is pretty.’ With those three simple words, they stole away all our self-confidence. 
And we become ugly and embittered.

Alright, i guess this can be a continuation of the last post... Stereotype: a detrimental prejudice.

So here i go........
Some people, after reading it, thought that i'm discriminating between girls and boys...no, i didn't do anything like that. The questions i'd put forth were quite instant and sprung up because of the question someone had asked me. I do feel that i'm becoming a FEMINIST, but yeah, in that post i didn't act as an ethnocentric. I talked about equal rights and that i don't understand whats wrong with people if they come across girls who drink or smoke????????????????

Stereotype- a detrimental prejudice

Stereotypes!!
It's a funny word, but i think its time to take it more seriously.
Stereotypes are gossips about the world which force us to prejudge people even before laying an eye on them. Its a kinda PREJUDGMENT!
Well, i don't intend to hurt anyone with the content of this post, but felt the need to erase of some misconceptions...

So, a day before yesterday someone asked me what good qualities i've, just because i don't visit temples and consume alcohol once in a blue moon. More than a surprise, it came as a shock to me, because the person who asked this to me was none other than a very good friend of mine who knows every thing about me or maybe, i thought he knew me, but it was never so...
The questions which suddenly crawled my mind were, a girl consuming alcohol or the one who smokes once in a while, but is true to herself and her friends considered unrespectable in society? If a girl doesn't go to temples, but silently prays for the well-being of her loved ones considered ungraceful? And if she live her life on her own accords, but is conscious about humanity and loves and respects poor then is she discourteous? On the contrary, if a girl does not consume alcohol, but cons thousands of men and is dishonest with her friends, then is she good?  And a girl who is least bothered about the people around her, the poverty, the starvation and uses others for her own selfish needs then is she super good, is she the best? Okay, i know people have their own choices and opinions. It's their decision on whom to stay with and whom not to stay with. My bestie faced similar situation once, but in her case the guy hardly knew her and in my case the person knew me very well. I don't understand whats the use considering him as BESTEST of my friends if he least knew me, in fact all these days he must have heard me and not listened to me or my words with utmost attention they required. I do respect him for his presence in the toughtest hour of mine and i also adore him much. But the same person raising such a question was not admirable.
I like him dearly and wish for his well-being, and i also hope that he understands that beauty lies within.. However the person be on outside, his/her intentions towards others shouldn't be demonic and the person should be considerate enough about others living in the society. His/her heart should be pure and mind and thoughts should be crystal clear.

Consuming alcohol and smoking are not bad things unless they're done in excess and people who have it occasionally aren't bad too. Girls should be given equal rights to live and cherish their lives. At the end of the day, no person is bad, he/she are just victims of circumstances. And i BEG you all not to PREJUDGE people on what they wear, what they eat etc. STOP fooling yourselves and acting like STEREOTYPES. YOU live in 21st century and behave accordingly!

Well, having stayed away from my one and the only blog, i feel a strong urge to start writing once again.
Things are kinda okay now...
I'm not a KJSIEITian any more, but a Xavierite. :D :D

A fish in an Aquarium

Lately, this is how I've been feeling...Like a fish in an aquarium.
I never wanted it to be like this. I wanted freedom, liberty...
A fish in an aquarium does get water, but still it has no freedom. It is caged, alone with some other species, roaming in a restricted area.
How dull and boring it is!
I'm pissed, screwed up, dull, exhausted and tired dealing with so many problem that come altogether.
At 20 i feel so much burdened.
bad... too bad!!

Wrath of last two the weeks!
firstly, it had been a week filled with shocks and bountiful surprises...

Flashback of last week:
i somehow managed to gather courage to talk with my mom about the change i wish to have in my career.
Obviously, mom told dad and the drama the began... well, this was just the "starter", "main course" was on its way. It was none other than a letter from my college. A letter from my DEAREST Principal, ... a letter pointing towards my poor attendance. Huh!! Just imagine what all i had to go through!

The week that followed was no different from the previous one. Same old drama. Just like what they show in daily-soaps, except for those heavy jewelleries and plenty of make-up. Mom-dad yelling and shouting at me and me...the poor lonesome kid, sitting at one end of the living room and listening to their quack-quack. Not a word being uttered from my side. Sounds funny, isn't it?
And well, about my Parents...they are very good people, but unfortunately, they fail to understand me...
Each time i fall and pick myself up; a new trouble stands in front grinning at me saying, "Let's play some more games." Huh! Oh, dear me, how much i'm getting used to such things! One thing i want to mention, maturity comes not with age, but with experiences. Even a 30 year old may sound immature in front of a 10 year old. ironic though, but true. It depends on our wisdom.
Such difficulties and troubles are free of cost. They can come anytime and petrify us, but all we gotta do is  smile back at them and face them with all our might. They're here to give us "free-advises", like, "hey you, be cautious! I'll be back soon." And we gotta make ourselves stronger than ever and be prepared for their next visit. And well, for my parents and the biggest block on my path, i mean the fat Principal- how long will they keep me away from the SUN?
With every opposition my desire will increase and will keep on increasing...

Putting an end to a 2 months long battle

Finally, i spoke!
I dared to utter those words from my mouth.
I talked  to my mom about BA plans. I haven't told her about the result yet. Well, that's a really difficult task for me. It took me 2 long months to muster courage to talk to my mom about quitting engineering.
Let me make one thing clear. My parents never forced me to do engineering, it was me. Solely me!!
My dad has a business. Transformer manufacturing and related stuff. Mom's a teacher. Both of them are very good at Mathematics, including my brother, who at present is in class 10th.
I had always been a silent person at heart. I love being in my solitude most of the time. But, my mates would definitely deny this, 'cause most of them know not much about me. I expect very little from life, but most importantly i want freedom. Freedom of choices, freedom of thoughts, freedom of everything. Freedom is what i don't have. Oh, forget it. Let me come to the point.
I was not so good at languages during my school days. When i was in class 8th, i took up Sanskrit as an additional language. Hindi was something nerve wrecking for me. So i moved to Sanskrit. Marathi and English were just okay for me. But, gradually my liking for these languages increased. It just happened. My coaching class 'teachers' played a crucial role there. Because of them i started liking languages more and more.
I thought of taking up Arts after 10th. But destiny had something else for me. I scored 86% in class 10th which was more than average. I was under lot of pressure. I knew very well that my parents won't let me pursue Arts. So, without giving  a second thought i went for Science. It was a secondary option on my agenda though. After completing 12th i thought i had only 1 option i.e. Engineering. It was the only thing i knew by then. Many friends of mine went for engineering, so did i. But i couldn't clear MHT-CET in 1st attempt so i had to take a drop for one year. The I joined a coaching class for CET and i met Mr. Salin Akhter, my physics teacher and Mansi, my batch mate. I admire them a lot.
Now, i'm in 4th semester of engineering and have been bombarded by hell lot KTS. Well, certain things are just not meant to.
We cry hard to get something, to acquire something and after having it in our hand, we get to know that it was actually not meant for us. Many things are there like this. For example, we fight with our parents to marry a girl/boy of our choice and after few years of marriage, we end up divorcing stating 'irreconcilable difference'. It weird, isn't it? But, its life and it has to dealt with in some or the other way.
In my case, its not any guy...but education and i want to learn not just 'rattofy'. I told my mom that i want to pursue BA Literature. Not actually Literature, but anything in BA would do.
Now, heavens know what my destiny has for me.
My life won't ever get boring with me... :)

Effacing Pain:In and Around

"I can look back on my life,
where there have been moments where things might have gone the other way.
Everything is like stepping stones, and I've seen people I admire falter.
We're all Vulnerable."

It was early morning of 7th December, around 0430hrs... a dear friend of mine messaged this to me.Those lines were like an eye-opener for me.
    I was going through the toughest period of my life. Everything seemed bleak and grotesque. My life was mutilated. I could see that everything was going outta control but couldn't hold on to anything. I was abashed due to certain things that didn't go my way and everything that had turned upside down. Only two of my friends i was in touch with and deserted myself from rest of the world. I was so much depressed that i couldn't see kids, old women and other people with torn clothes begging on streets. Simply put, i couldn't see people in pain.
    Those friends of mine were with me throughout and tried every possible thing to bring me back to life. I thought their efforts would go in vain. But gradually they started paying back for good. I started of my life with zeal and enthusiasm.
     I had completely forgotten that above message. But certain things reminded me of it again and again. Like, this particular line, "We're all vulnerable" and even the usage of progression and Failure in single line... second line from the bottom. Me and that friend of mine, we had a brief conversation regarding this and to my dismal, he had taken 'steeping stones' for something else. That confusion got cleared anyway. However, that message gave me a deep insight. I started socializing again. I started talking to people, meeting them in person... Started having conversation tete-a-tete. There was a drastic change in me. Back in December, i used to think, I'm the only one bombarded with pain and agony. But, when i actually started knowing people... I saw so many like me. Some were in more pain than me. Aah!! I was jolted back. We are all indeed vulnerable!
    Then again there are times when the rest of the world is moving ahead some of us and we just keeping staring... doing nothing and hurting ourselves, we get stuck somewhere unable to judge what's happening around... For instance, i have these two friends who studied so hard for last the semester that they were sure enough of passing with good grades, but they were shocked when the results were out. This wasn't the first time for these two girls, it has been happening since the first semester itself. It's like we slog our ass, give 100% input and return empty handed. Hah!! It has had happened with each one of us at least i assume so. One of these girls totally lost hope and went under depression. That's so silly, innit? Well, she being my friend, i couldn't see her like that and tried to cheer her up. I often do these things for my people. I just can't see pain around me 'cause i have had enough of it.
      Yesterday, a very close friend of mine said that she trusts me a lot and wants me to be with her always. That came as a compliment for me and i was damn happy. Nothing could beat this joy.
       Well, i ain't Bozo-The Clown, but i can spread joy, smiles and laughter on the faces around me. I never knew that. I erased pain from my life and started living for myself and my people. I still can't see people in pain, suffering from illness... who live in hunger and starvation and feel the need to put a little effort to bring smiles on their faces and trust me, i really do that. Today, I'm more generous and kind to everyone. I've more love, more hope and more faith in me. And i just smile back at past when i get depressed.
       Life is too unpredictable. We fail when rest of the world is on winning a spree. A person, however good or bad... Demon or Angel... does feel emotional bruises at some point of time. And sometimes, we even get to see a Devil turning out to be a Samaritan. All we got to do is be a good doer and kind and also keep alive the human in US.

Signing off for now!!

A Winter Morning

On a winter morning,
whilst the bright sun shining.

My eyes shot open,
To see the smiling sun.

A cold breeze kissed me,
And a bird came to wake me.

It had a melodious chirp,
Sweet enough to lift my day up.

The plants and the trees around,
Danced to the sweet chirping sound.

The Sun, the bird, the plants...
all seemed so cheerful and beautiful...

The clock struck 0630hrs and rang the alarm bell,
 Dream 'twas my mom came to tell...