Friday, February 17, 2012

Effacing Pain:In and Around

"I can look back on my life,
where there have been moments where things might have gone the other way.
Everything is like stepping stones, and I've seen people I admire falter.
We're all Vulnerable."

It was early morning of 7th December, around 0430hrs... a dear friend of mine messaged this to me.Those lines were like an eye-opener for me.
    I was going through the toughest period of my life. Everything seemed bleak and grotesque. My life was mutilated. I could see that everything was going outta control but couldn't hold on to anything. I was abashed due to certain things that didn't go my way and everything that had turned upside down. Only two of my friends i was in touch with and deserted myself from rest of the world. I was so much depressed that i couldn't see kids, old women and other people with torn clothes begging on streets. Simply put, i couldn't see people in pain.
    Those friends of mine were with me throughout and tried every possible thing to bring me back to life. I thought their efforts would go in vain. But gradually they started paying back for good. I started of my life with zeal and enthusiasm.
     I had completely forgotten that above message. But certain things reminded me of it again and again. Like, this particular line, "We're all vulnerable" and even the usage of progression and Failure in single line... second line from the bottom. Me and that friend of mine, we had a brief conversation regarding this and to my dismal, he had taken 'steeping stones' for something else. That confusion got cleared anyway. However, that message gave me a deep insight. I started socializing again. I started talking to people, meeting them in person... Started having conversation tete-a-tete. There was a drastic change in me. Back in December, i used to think, I'm the only one bombarded with pain and agony. But, when i actually started knowing people... I saw so many like me. Some were in more pain than me. Aah!! I was jolted back. We are all indeed vulnerable!
    Then again there are times when the rest of the world is moving ahead some of us and we just keeping staring... doing nothing and hurting ourselves, we get stuck somewhere unable to judge what's happening around... For instance, i have these two friends who studied so hard for last the semester that they were sure enough of passing with good grades, but they were shocked when the results were out. This wasn't the first time for these two girls, it has been happening since the first semester itself. It's like we slog our ass, give 100% input and return empty handed. Hah!! It has had happened with each one of us at least i assume so. One of these girls totally lost hope and went under depression. That's so silly, innit? Well, she being my friend, i couldn't see her like that and tried to cheer her up. I often do these things for my people. I just can't see pain around me 'cause i have had enough of it.
      Yesterday, a very close friend of mine said that she trusts me a lot and wants me to be with her always. That came as a compliment for me and i was damn happy. Nothing could beat this joy.
       Well, i ain't Bozo-The Clown, but i can spread joy, smiles and laughter on the faces around me. I never knew that. I erased pain from my life and started living for myself and my people. I still can't see people in pain, suffering from illness... who live in hunger and starvation and feel the need to put a little effort to bring smiles on their faces and trust me, i really do that. Today, I'm more generous and kind to everyone. I've more love, more hope and more faith in me. And i just smile back at past when i get depressed.
       Life is too unpredictable. We fail when rest of the world is on winning a spree. A person, however good or bad... Demon or Angel... does feel emotional bruises at some point of time. And sometimes, we even get to see a Devil turning out to be a Samaritan. All we got to do is be a good doer and kind and also keep alive the human in US.

Signing off for now!!